


The Three Piningeers

by Lightning_Anonymous



Category: Amateur Ninja (Video Games)
Genre: "GOD ITS NICE TO NOT BE THE ONLY ONE IN LOVE", "i hate you guys", "yeah but we still gonna pretend u are lol", - norman and the professor, Gay Panic, M/M, Rare Fandoms, Rare Pairings, Self-Indulgent, also tell me how i didnt get the grabass joke..... until right now, characters in ships that arent tagged are just mentioned, hate this game sometimes, its an AMATEUR NINJA fanfiction, its literally 3 dumb gays talking abt their big crushes, literally every part of this is rare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-19 09:54:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29997606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lightning_Anonymous/pseuds/Lightning_Anonymous
Summary: Three MegaCorp employees walk into the office kitchen- the head of security, the head of accounting, and the head of robotics. You can tell because they immediately start talking about their pining.
Relationships: Norman Shakes/Dick Masterson, Professor Grabass/Crumpet Murphy, Walter Wall/Boris Mailovic





	The Three Piningeers

**Author's Note:**

> important to note: i am a bi (male leaning) disaster who just wants my amateur ninja comfort characters to get... a little a kissie... as a treat... but for real this entire fic is just self-indulgent ships packed into one fic. three megacorp employees walk into a kitchen and start rambling about their incessant pining. i care about them so much. anyways once again shoutout to the like, 3 people reading this now. mwah. i do this for the girls and the gays thats it /ref /j also in this time period walter is an intern? dunno how it happened but it worked out. anyways the professor, walter and norman are the holy trinity of gay disasters. enjoy

As soon as the coffee machine shut up, a mug was swiped out from under it. A few drops dribbled onto the carpet. The person drinking it didn't seem to mind, though, just downing as much coffee as he could in one swig before leaning against the counter with a quiet _thunk_. Three MegaCorp employees stood inside the company's kitchen, staring at each other expectantly. A small robot paced in front of the door like a watchdog, being sure nobody could listen in. 

"...So I might have a _tiny_ crush," one of the employees finally said. Walter Wall, head of security, was the aforementioned employee- rather soft-spoken when it came to most anything, constantly seeming tense or nervous. Especially when talking about something like _this_.

Professor Grabass- head of robotics-slash-technology and told every single customer he was German because it made him seem more intimidating -clapped his hands at the statement, a sharp-toothed grin forming. "Well, well, well! It seems you can finally _properly_ join our poor, hopelessly in love circle... _Wonderful!_ " The grin twitched. Neither of the employees could tell how real it was, and they didn't care to ask.

Norman Shakes- head of accounting, "Asshole of the Year," and absolute emotional disaster -took another sip of coffee and hopped up to sit on the edge of the kitchen counter. He crossed his legs, analyzing Walter's expression in a hawk-like way with squinted eyes... or maybe he just couldn't see Walter quite right. "Spill the coffee beans, then. Who is it?" 

"Wouldn't you be mad if I spilled th-"

"It's a figure of speech, dumbass," Norman cut in. "Tell us who it is. The professor's little robot can only fend off employees for so long."

"On the contrary!" Grabass' almost threatening grin became enthusiastic at the mention of his creation. "So long as it doesn't run out of battery, my dearest robot can go on until the sun eventually destroys our pathetic planet!"

A sip of coffee, a soft hum. "How long does the battery run?"

The professor hesitated to answer, counting on his gloved fingers and mumbling under his breath before finally replying. "...Three hours." And Norman cracked up laughing as if Grabass had told the world's funniest joke, while Walter stood and fidgeted with the collar of his turtleneck. He still hadn't looked up from the carpet, eyes tracing over the designs in the shallow fur.

"...Uh. Right, so-" He finally glanced up at Norman. "-can I answer your question now, accountant?"

Norman rubbed away tears of laughter, breath shaking as he tried to catch it. "God- god. Yeah, yeah, go ahead, Wonderwall," And then, much softer than the rest of his words, "sorry, dude." It was almost inaudible, but Walter couldn't help the small hint of a smile that formed when he heard it.

Walter shifted his sneakers against the floor for a few moments as he prepared to speak. "So, uh... you know the head of the mail department, right?"

"Mailovic, correct?" The professor leaned forward, seeming to know exactly what Walter was about to say. "Is that the man you are- what is the word..."

"Pining?" Norman filled in.

"Yes! That's the term, yes. Is Mailovic the man you're so hopelessly head over heels for?"

The head of security moved his hand up to his teeth and began gnawing on the stubs he had for nails. It was a nervous habit he told himself a million times that he'd stop, but never did. "...Well, yeah, uh- yeah. That's the simple way of putting it?"

Grabass got a bit closer, eyes shimmering with childlike curiosity behind his goggles. "Well! Isn't that just splendid? The head of accounting with the head of marketing-"

"I'm not even one-hundred percent sure, y'know!"

"-the head of security with the head of the mail department-"

"I- I mean, I don't think he likes me back, professor..."

"-and the head of robotics with the janitor!" A moment's hesitation. "I am... _unsure_ if he cares about me in such a way. But I suppose that's part of the emotional toll that comes with caring so much, yes?"

The three went silent as to not acknowledge the question, the only sound being the soft hum of the air conditioning vents. Until that cut out. Norman gave a loud groan. "That's the third time this _week_!"

Grabass gave Norman a gentle punch in the side. "You aren't the one who has to fix it every time, you know!" he remarked.

"It's only Monday! How has it cut out three times if it's-"

Norman pressed a finger to Walter's lips, downing the rest of his coffee before speaking again. "That's the thing. I'm positive the only people who know how to fix things are Crumpet and the professor."

"Haven't you fixed the coffee machine before..?"

The accountant hesitated. "...I mean, yeah, I guess. But it's the only thing I know _how_ to fix, and that's cause if I want my coffee- well, nobody else is gonna do it. Point being that Crumpet and our little doctor here are good at making weird shit, but not _fixing_ it. Does that explain why the damn thing keeps cutting out?"

Walter gave a soft laugh and nodded. "You guys are weird, you know that?"

"Yeah, that's kinda the point." Norman hopped down onto his feet. "Don't you two tell anyone, but... I wouldn't have it any other way."


End file.
